I'm in my second year on the Board of Directors in my community. And as the last original standing member, the other two quit before their terms were up, I've got four letters for you... H. A. R. D. I deserve a medal. Better yet, I deserve a medal with chocolate inside. It is one of the most challenging things I've ever taken on willingly. Most times I feel like I've been blindfolded and placed in front of a firing squad. (Why do I suddenly picture myself in a stripped shirt and a beret with a French accent yelling, "Vive le resistance!"?) There are always a few people no matter where you go who are plain old mean. You can be doing your best, trying to weigh all the solutions to the issues, giving away your time for free and it's still not enough. You will be called names, you will be screamed at in front of others and you will want to throw in the towel. But you aren't allowed to. (You think I want to have to do this stuff alone. Pssshhh. Forget it! I'm taking you along with me.)
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I love where I live! It's beautiful. Quiet. Highly-prized location. And when I look back at peaceful, sweet days, I smile. Too bad those days are never Board meeting days. I'm part of the interface of the elected governing team in the community, so no matter how you slice it, to some, I am always the bad guy. And, this I have come to learn the hard way - there is just no pleasing everyone. No matter what you do or how hard you try to work it out. Some people take their stand and will not budge an inch to accommodate others. Thank goodness there are always some kind people who stand up for you in the middle of the fray and voice their appreciation. (As they have been around when the crazies are yelling at you, so you have proof should you need the cops.) Those people get a serious THANK YOU from me. But most do not attempt to shower you with such affections. Some people threaten to sue you. (Which is what everyone in America does these days.) Others cause a childlike ruckus month after month in an attempt to try to get you to back down because they think you'll tire of their repeated tirades. And then there are always a choice, extra special one or two who go behind your back to all the neighbors and tell flat out lies about you. *tisk, tisk* Somehow I don't think this is what the First Amendment was trying to endorse when it said we have "Freedom of Speech."
For nearly two years now, I have given up countless hours of my free time researching proposals, pouring over bylaws, listening to gripes, tending to emergencies, vetting out financial issues, writing up various correspondence, updating the website for free and taking a lot of criticism full force on the chin. All the while sincerely trying to make an effort to be kind to my neighbors, especially my meeting offenders. Let's not forget I organized the annual meeting last December with food and drinks too. Yet even with all my attempts to encourage people to be civil to one another, as well as me while they were at it, the same ornery people who will eat your pastries and sip your coffee will still try to tell you what a toad you are. Super. At least during my day job, I get paid even when people are unkind to me. This abuse is totally for free!
I cannot tell you how easy (and oh so tempting) it would be to quit. To just say, "I don't deserve this. I have had enough!" and walk out. Someone else can do it. NMP. (Not my problem.) But something inside me just won't let me. It is this: because I really do care about my community and the people who live here. No matter what a handful may prefer to think about me. I know that I do not operate out of self interest, but try my very best to know my neighbors needs, research things in detail, consider all options, consult our legal and management teams and make decisions that are as fair to the entire community as possible. I'm cautious. I'm calm. I'm honest. I know that it's the right thing to be on the board, to stay on the board, despite the verbal arrows that slice into me each and every month. (It's funny how people never talk about the 99 things you do that they love. They only belabor the one thing they don't.)
Hard things we do probably can't be fully measured for their contributions while we're in the middle of doing them. Our perspective is skewed by the pain. But later, we'll know. Whether I'm on the Board for two years or 10, everything I do will get my best effort every time. After all, life can't always be about doing the easy thing and then bailing when it gets hard. Quality people hang in there and finish what they started. We all know when our insides are telling us to remain steadfast and you'd best listen to them or you could rob yourself of future satisfaction. Harsh comments and untruths will not make you falter when you know at your core who you are and your real intentions. They might rock you a little now and then, because you are a feeling and emotional being, but they can't push you over dead flat.
If you're in the middle of doing something hard right now, don't give up and walk out too early just because harsh people are trying to wear you down. Chances are, they are unhappy with themselves, so that's why they are taking it out on you. That's been their go to coping mechanism. If your intentions are honest and the cause you are backing really matters, I encourage you to bend your knees, square your shoulders and lean into it. You're no quitter.
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