Turns out, the door has always been cracked just a little. I had a friend from kindergarten, Ronnie, who I remember well. He "dated" another friend of mine all the way through 6th grade when there was a sad and dramatic breakup. (As much as there can be when you're 11.) But when two people have spent countless hours sitting next to each other in the cafeteria and holding hands during assembly, it feels like the most awful thing to not be together anymore. I got so used to them as a pair though, that when he asked me out in 7th grade by sending me a St. Patrick's Day lollipop I had to say no. Just didn't seem right because his ex was my friend. (I was so mature, wasn't I?) Then that year, he moved away. (I wish I was in CT and could scan a class picture right now.)
Flash forward to end of high school/start of college when I was at home. I get a call and yep, it's Ronnie. He had tossed his kidlike nickname at this point, so I had to adjust to calling him Ron. This was harder to do than you might think. I also had to get used to his voice being definitely deeper. So, Ron was in town and wanted to stop by. He shows up at the door with long hair and an earring. I thought my parents were gonna freak. And we weren't even dating. We went out, we had fun and I believe there was some kind of mishap involving a car. It was hard to believe so many years had gone by. Then he was gone again. Off to the military.
Flash forward some more and I have graduated from college, been working at my second real job ever and living in my own apartment when my phone rings. It's Ron. He found me again. (How did he do it before Facebook?) He was visiting his Dad who lived two hours south of my town and wanted to come up and see me. We hung out, went to see a movie, he lost his car keys and there was a slight panic. (What is with us and car disasters!) Fun times. It was as if not much time had passed at all. Hug, bye, and off he went!
More calendar pages flip by and you're seeing a pattern here. Ron got married while overseas, had a baby and I was in a slightly better apartment when my phone rings. He was in town with his wife and wanted to come up so I could meet her. We all went out, had some dinner, caught up again after the last six year installment and you guessed it, a bear hug and bye again.
It's nearly unbelievable, but I got an email today that Ron sent me to say he was at his Dad's, driving up for work in MD, he would be in my area around lunchtime and hoped we could get together. I'm so glad my calendar was open. It had been another eight or so years, and there was Ronnie again. My trusty childhood pal. With no hair! (He shaved his head and it really suited him.) But still with the same face that I remember from way (WAY!) back when. He had already found me on Facebook last year and we caught up some on email. But it was so much more fun to talk in person as we sat outside on a beautiful day at The Counter Burger in Reston Town Center enjoying a completely yummy build your own turkey burger (mine with cheddar, pancetta, mixed greens and chipotle aioli, his with bacon and herbed goat cheese). A good friend and good food. Great day. (Darn, forgot to take a picture. So go to the website and check out the menu. http://www.thecounterburger.com/menu/)
We eased quickly into meaningful conversation. He had experienced a lot of hard things in the past dozen years. I knew some of it. And when I had seen him last, I surmised what at least a portion of the issue was. It made me sad that this sweet little boy I remember from kindergarten in his Buster Browns and sweater vest had a heaviness on his shoulders. Which is what some nice guys bear up under because they really are that nice. (Taking the high road ain't for sissies.)
But this time, to my delight, he looked so happy! I had never seen him this way. His life was back in gear and I knew he had made the right choices, even though they were hard. I was joyous inside to see that this person I had known for nearly my entire life had grown into such a strong and cool guy. It was time for him to have the love in his life he deserved, whom he promptly married last fall. (Nice to know he's smart too!) He had found someone who could appreciate him for all the wonderful qualities he has and treat him with the respect he needed. Who doesn't love a happy ending?!!
[I have to note that as the outside observer, you just know when someone is with the right person because it truly does make them a better person. From how they are with serving their family, to their openness with friends and just how they are around people in general. If instead they are constantly cranky, often withdrawn and conveniently isolated, hello, huge red flags. Any man or woman who does that to someone you love is NOT the one for them!]
I'm really glad that Ronnie, uh Ron, manages to find me every six to eight years. We don't talk for so long, but then when we meet up, we have a great time. He told me about his hobbies, cooking related interests, teenage son, new wife. And I just smiled inside for him and what he has built out of the ashes.
I've learned that even if your childhood had a lot of yucky stuff in it, there are also some redeemable things to be found. It's good to be open to spending an hour with an old friend when they show up out of the blue. Don't talk yourself out of it because you haven't had any contact in a dozen or even two dozen years. Just go! Or maybe you need to be the one to reach out and contact your childhood pal that day. It really can make for a lovely lunch date when you spend a little time catching up with an old school chum.
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| He was not this tall in Bethany Elementary |
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